"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk!" -Homer J. Simpson Short funny quotes by, Yogi Berra
"If you love your job, you haven't worked a day in your life."Short funny quotes by, Tommy Lasorda
"I'm an excellent housekeeper. Every time I get a divorce, I keep the house."Short funny quotes by, Zsa Zsa Gabor
"Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle." Short funny quotes by, Bob Hope